Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
