So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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