Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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