another moral hangover. fuck.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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