i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
