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• (845): View more from New York

  oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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• (925): View more from California

  I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (561): View more from Florida

  P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off

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• (817): View more from Texas

  We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  What'd I miss?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.

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