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My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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