Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"

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(303): View more from Colorado

It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

May the one with the liver that just won't quit win

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(619): View more from California

Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.

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