oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.