I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
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I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child