whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
