Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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