I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
