I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
