based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
