Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
