I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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