If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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