Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This baby is an asshole
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
