the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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