another moral hangover. fuck.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
