Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
