Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
