oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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