i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
