Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
