i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
