Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
