Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
