i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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