Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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