i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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