where am i from again
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i now understand why vodka
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
