We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
