either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
