Define "chronic" masturbator.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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