i was born a porn star she said
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need to calm my uterus...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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