fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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