He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
