the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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