I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
