I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize