You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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