Yo dont text me then not text me
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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