"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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