Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
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Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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