Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
