No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
pop tarts are not kleenex
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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