I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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