She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just had sex bonerless
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill