I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week