oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
