Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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