i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
