I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sorry my hands just texted you
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
