I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
