wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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