i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
