I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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