I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
