woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
