found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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