Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
