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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
