If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
