Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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