It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
