I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
